Maeyonnaise

lately, I have been feeling like I keep hitting dead ends. I’ve been feeling like I am pushing against a wall that will never break nor budge even slightly.

I tried taking some doses of positive pills that used to work (listening to praise music, reading soulfood articles, talking positive, being mentally positive & hopeful, being with terrific people)… it just doesn’t seem to last. They are all so shortlived. I admire those that can live everyday flooded with positive energy… with so much energy for that matter.

Dunno… slacking… lazing… feeling drained… these are all that stays.

Everyday, I look forward to being with hubby… as he is my biggest positive pill. He doesn’t have to do or say anything. Him, being in my life encourages me to be content & happy. Of course, realistically, we have our down times… our tired days… I know he is very tired too… his work is so demanding… yet everyday, he does it with so much initiative… I love him so much for that. I wish I have even a drop of that.

For some reason, I have lost my interest in giving myself into my job… into people… into the day. I just feel so tired. Tired. Fed up of the rat race.

sigh.

I have the holidays to look forward to. I will be on leave from work from the Eid Holidays till January!!! THANK GOD! Can’t wait!!! Guess, this will give me the time & opportunity to think things out… sort things out with myself. I need to find the path that I want to lead and stop slacking. I need to assess my goals.

Maybe it’s time to take that Better to Bless Challenge….. maybe it is. It’s time to seek my Calling…

Maybe I’m not a lost cause after all… :p